50 Greatest Modern Playboys and Past Casanovas - URBASM Feature
AND, SWIPE RIGHT’s feature in URBASM
50 Greatest Modern Playboys and Past Casanovas - URBASM Feature
URBASM created the most comprehensive list of playboys and casanovas in history to date. Their article featured the 50 most popular sex icons and their relationship history. AND, SWIPE RIGHT was asked to comment on why men are more interested in hooking up than building a long-term relationship with a partner.
What is a Playboy or Casanova?
A playboy or a casanova is the guy that is a total heartthrob but also the guy that will break your heart. Our favorite reference for this is James Bond. He is wildly attractive in every sense, he’s strong, he’s smart, he’s classic, he’s elegant, he’s romantic, he’s seductive, and he’s extremely good looking. But what the one thing he never does, commit fully to someone and give up his bachelor life. Our favorite James Bond movie is Casino Royale for obvious reasons, he gets the girl and they share a beautiful romance. Even though the ending is tragic, this is when James Bond commits to himself above all else. He vows to never let another woman in and thus his epic romantic escapades being. In real life, a playboy is someone who will choose himself over building a meaningful relationship with someone. They are fun to have passionate romances but don’t expect them to last long. They are notorious for chasing “the chase” and once the conquest is over, they will move on to their next target and you will be left to pick up the pieces of your broken heart.
What is the seduction style of a playboy or Casanova?
There are so many different Seduction Styles that can be used when romancing and seducing a partner into a passionate relationship. Robert Greene highlighted all the different styles in his book, Art of Seduction. The Playboy/Casanova is one of the most obvious seduction styles and the individuals who employ this have spent many years perfecting it. It’s alluring, desirable, and filled with passion; they are the type of people where their reputation as a consummate seducer proceeds themself and furthermore draws in more suitors because of it. This seduction style is known as The Rake. The Rake is someone who uses their sex appeal to meet and seduce their victims into a night full of passionate sex. We like to refer to them as ‘playing with fire’ it’s beautiful and fun but at some point, you are going to get burned. Rakes are not looking to be tamed, and in fact, if you try they will run in the opposite direction. They are looking for passion and excitement so we advise not catching feels when you find yourself in any relationship with a Rake.
How do Playboys and Casnovas show up in relationships?
They don’t. Rakes are not looking for commitment, they are looking for right now or even tonight only. If you find yourself attracted to a Rake, that’s totally ok, but we advise you to empower yourself with knowledge of how they may let you down if you’re looking to transform a Rake into a long-term partner. They are only focused on a sexual conquest and the longer you hold out with high value the more they will chase you, but it’s also a very fine line of holding out and “wasting their time”. Navigating a seduction with a Rake takes a skilled seducer. If you feel confident in this area of your relationship then you will have a lot of fun with this type of partner. However, if you don’t then we advise you to book a Coaching Appointment with us as we’ll share all the detail of how you can empower yourself to stay on top of your game as he is playing his game with you.
Why do Playboys and Casanovas choose to live the bachelor life?
They haven’t found someone they feel is worth giving up the exciting chase of seduction to change and build a life with a partner. Men that are womanizers are not incapable of having a relationship but rather they haven’t found the woman that challenges them enough to want to change their lifestyle - they think the game is more rewarding than the risk of emotional vulnerability. In other words, chasing victories over meaningful relationships is a chance for them to play the game without exposing themself to heartache, emotional turmoil, and evermore so - digging through their own emotional baggage or previous traumas.
Men that are craving sexual conquest over real relationships
At AND, SWIPE RIGHT we coach our clients on high-value dating techniques, and many times when men seek assistance finding a romantic partner, it's not because they haven't had luck meeting and dating women, but rather it's more because they are not dating the right type of woman (high-value women) to feel like they will be stimulated intellectually and sexually long term. This is what creates the fizzle in the relationship - it starts out great but then ends up running its course 3-6 months in, and by the 7th month, the couple has broken up. This is a common issue with men who have a preconceived idea of who/what their perfect woman is rather than who/what their perfect woman's qualities are for an ideal relationship. There are a couple of things at play here:
Find the chase to be more enjoyable than settling down with someone
Are hiding behind a defense mechanism (that might be subconscious) and this lifestyle allows them to "play the role of healthy dating" while never opening themself up to another person which creates unhealthy relationships habits that can have negative ripple effects in other areas of their life - for example, developing narcissistic tendencies, closed-off personalities which ultimately pushes people away, transient friends, and shallow relationships
Could be running from childhood trauma which can manifest as attention-seeking, game playing, and selfish actions in romantic relationships
Get bored because they've been chasing "looks" instead of pursuing a stimulating dynamic connection with a woman that is attractive and intelligent
Are dating within the wrong pool and finding easier victories rather than "tougher challenges" that keep the chase alive longer
Are unaware of how to sustain #couplegoals as a real thing in their life long term
Are only looking for a sexual relationship and thus not familiar or don't remember how to show up as the boyfriend/partner in a relationship
Are not emotionally supportive as they are unaware of how to emotionally support themself because they are out-of-touch with their own self-care and their own emotions
Unaware of their own love languages and don't know how to communicate their love in other love languages
Have no relationship guide/roadmap to help them achieve the goal they are seeking. Like directions when you go on a road trip, without a clear path of how to achieve what you're looking for you'll end up accepting/settling for what you find along the way instead of arriving at your destination pleased with the result of your hard work and effort
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What do you think? Have you dated a playboy or Casanova? Or are you a self-proclaimed playboy? We want to know about your experience. Leave a comment below and let us know. We love hearing from you so don’t forget to share your feedback!
- the AND, SWIPE RIGHT team
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