How To Provide Comfort To Your Live-In Partner During Quarantine
How to provide comfort to your live-in partner during Quarantine
How to be comforting when your partner is stressed
Quarantine is a b*tch. No matter what your situation is - single, self-isolated, and desperately missing human contact, living with your partner and seriously missing your alone time, or quarantine-ing with your family because um, why not?! Quarantine has pushed us all to new limits that are extremely difficult to deal with. For my single and self-isolated individuals, join me every Thursday for QUARANTINED TOGETHER - a free weekly socializing hangout specifically designed to connect individuals who are looking to escape this COVID-19 quarantined reality. But for my couples who are living together and now navigating a whole new world as a couple - we’ve never related more to the idea of locking ourselves in the bathroom just for some alone time - we feel that. But this post is specifically for my quarantined couples, I’ve got you guys covered. If you’re living with your partner and your work/life balance has already gone OUT THE WINDOW, here are 3 tips on how you can help keep the peace between you two as a couple so your relationship doesn’t spiral out of control too. This takes considerate actions and a little extra effort but we promise, if you do this, your partner will notice and their appreciation will be directed at you. Ahh, how lovely this already sounds, less arguing, and more loving up on each other.
Here are 3 tips to employ when your partner is stressed and specific instruction on what you can do to help alleviate their stress.
1. Capitalize on their routine and help them by thinking one step ahead.
If you know your partner then you know the things that stress them out further and the things that can alleviate their pains are usually the small things. For example, if you know your partner is meticulous about keeping the house clean but they are so busy with other things that the bathroom hasn’t been cleaned in a week, think ahead with how you can help them by cleaning the house for them. Or maybe they are busy working and they usually enjoy cooking as a de-stressor but they don’t have the time now, bringing them a home-cooked meal to their desk is a thoughtful gesture but the extra piece of love is including a sweet little note. Write something short and sweet "I know you’re busy and I know you enjoy cooking but tonight’s dinner is on me. We’ll catch up when you have time to breathe." Sign it with an XO and deliver it with your meal. This way you don’t need to bother them or distract them from their work, they will see the meal on the their desk and they will also see this sweet love note showing your consideration and your act of service love language demonstration. (You can even take it a step further by saying,” Don’t worry. I’ll do the dishes tonight")
2. Provide emotional support by asking empathetic questions and allowing them to respond honestly without judgment.
This is important to show our partners how we can be there for them in times when they are struggling and even if we can’t do anything physically to help them, we can still provide emotional support by letting them talk. Sometimes it’s as simple as saying, “Tell me about your day, what was the highlight and what was the low point.” and then asking follow up questions like “Why? Why did you feel that was such a low point? What made that the highlight of your day?” When you ask your partner to reflect upon their day in a high & low manner, and then asking furthering questions you are allowing them time to process their day and recognize the good and the bad. This reflection opportunity allows them to share the highlights which should be celebrated and not skipped over but also in the same token, share the low lights so they don’t carry the stress of the disappointment by themself. Creating space for you two to discuss celebratory moments and disappointments allows you two to build an emotional bond that shows your partner that you are there to support them through the good times and the challenges. Plus, when you ask your partner these furthering questions, you are allowing your partner to vent and release the energy of work stress in a healthy way. This prevents a transference of work stress into your relationships and keeps a clearly delineated line between work and your relationship. Responding with comments that follow a simple formula like this one “That sounds ___________ (insert emotion) that must be __________(insert adjective)” (for example “that sounds exhausting, that must be so frustrating”) allows the other person to feel heard and validated in their position. This creates a safe, non-judgmental space for the two of you to show up, have an honest conversation, and then support each other through it.
3. Create a peaceful environment for them to continue through their work without added stressors.
This can be simply executed by giving your partner extra space so they don’t feel the pressure to be “on” with work and in your relationship which can escalate burnout quickly. Also, this is something that you can do for yourself that will change the way you show up with your partner eliciting a different response. For example, changing your energy with meditations, listening to meditation music in the background as you work, or using essential oils like lavender or eucalyptus in a diffuser will change the environment so that when your partner returns to the relationship, they will feel and notice the change and it will automatically assist their body in relaxing and calming down the nervous system which will activate the parasympathetic nervous system allowing for deeper breathing and a reduced heart rate. Sometimes it’s as simple as changing how we show up to help our partner change the way they show up.
- AND, SWIPE RIGHT’s de-stressing POWER MOVE -
4. Book them an Energy Healing session with a certified Energy worker.
Book your partner a Reiki Energy Cleanse that will energetically downgrade their nervous system through clearing out stagnant energetic blockages. These are simple, non-invasive energetic treatments that recalibrate the body’s energy into a healthy circulatory pattern as opposed to the destabilize energetic cycle that stress creates causing sleeplessness, insomnia, energy spikes, and crashes, loss of appetite, and other unhealthy lifestyle patterns. Re-centering oneself is a common thought when it comes to stress, but sometimes it’s easier to outsource it to someone else to assist in calming your body down, especially when we have a million things running through our mind. Working with a trained energy healer can be doubly effective with taking the body out of fight or flight mode -which is where we live when we are under high stress - and normalizing the body back to a healthy state. Our founder, Chloé is a certified Reiki Master with a deep understanding of the body’s energetic well-being. She will work closely with you to tailor the service to your body’s specific needs so that you walk away refreshed, relaxed, rejuvenated, reinvigorated, and restored.
What do you think? Have you tried any techniques that have proven to be successful? Let us know in the comments section below. What’s working for you and what are the problems you’re running into during this quarantine? We love hearing from you so don’t forget to report back!
- the AND, SWIPE RIGHT team
Did we miss something? Do you have a question that you’re looking for some advice? We want to hear from you, email us with your thoughts, your feedback, and what topics you want to know more about. Reach us at info@andswiperight.com