Ep 35: Cuffing Season
Dating Hotline, a podcast presented by AND, SWIPE RIGHT
Dating Hotline
Ep. 35
Cuffing Season
SHOW NOTES
- DATING HOTLINE -
Ep 35: Cuffing Season
Host: Chloé Miller
Production: AND, SWIPE RIGHT INC.
Show Music: Andrew Langdon
Transition Music: Nikolas Thorpe
“When it comes to Cuffing Seasons, think: short-term situationships and budding partnerships. Because this is a short season, some people partner up just to not be alone and some people partner up because they are really looking for a partner. The difference between these two is long-term relationship potential and depending on how you read the situation you could be facing sexy valentine’s day plans or an unexpected breakup days before."
-Chloé Miller
Founder, & CEO of AND, SWIPE RIGHT
EPISODE DESCRIPTION
In the 35th episode of Dating Hotline presented by AND, SWIPE RIGHT - Chloé introduces a modern dating topic - Cuffing Season. She defines the term, explains when the season begins and ends, and shares tips on how to make cuffing season work for you.
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TRANSCRIPT
Dating Hotline Podcast
EP 35: Cuffing Season
Hello Helloo! Did you miss me? I missed me. So I’m back in your ear asking you how do you navigate the holiday season, these cold fall days, and the countless weekends stuck inside binging Netflix? You cuff up. Who wants to go through another holiday season alone? I definitely do not and that’s why applications for my cuffing season are open. Want to learn more about what cuffing season is and why NOW is the time to apply...keep listening. You ready? Let’s go.
Intro
What’s up, hello, welcome, hi, glad you’re here. This is your host, Chloé Miller the founder, CEO, of the dating and relationship consultancy, AND, SWIPE RIGHT. Dating Hotline is presented by AND, SWIPE RIGHT dthe dating and relationship consultancy where ating specialists providing holistic support to your dating life. With services like Dating Healing where you heal previous relationship wounds to , Custom Dating Profiles that are authentic translations of you into pictures and words, to dating coaching that aligns you on a trajectory to meet your relationship goals, to date night styling and dating wellness AND, SWIPE RIGHT is focused on holism and we want to support you through all stages of dating.
Thank you for listening and subscribing. As you know, we’re not on a production schedule while I’m in grad school. So the easiest way to stay up to date is to follow us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. This way you won't miss an episode. And if you’re a new listener you’ll quickly learn that I love reviews, and this is when I ask you to leave one on Apple Podcast. Why? Because your review helps other people find our show and you could help improve someone’s life just by sharing your feedback.
Yes, yes, yes, we post all of this information including a transcript of what I say on the AND, SWIPE RIGHT website - Our show notes host links to the people, the business & the products we feature, and other gems like our newsletter - check it out andswiperight.com
So let’s catch up. I’ll go first -
Ok, yeah, where do I begin…if you follow me on Instagram you’ll know that my summer didn’t go according to plan. I had a really difficult summer and was forced to face a lot of painful things. So I took some time off to heal and rebuild myself in therapy. Behind the darkest moments are the biggest rewards and let me tell you, those were dark days, but thankfully I had my therapist and a great group of support. What I learned from that experience was sharing my struggles on social media allowed me to connect with more of my friends on a deeper level taking our friendship to a new place. Had I not made the first move to real, my relationships wouldn’t have shifted to support me in a time when I need it. So many people stepped up and so many I didn’t expect. Looking back, I’m grateful for the transformation. I’m growing into this new version of myself and falling in love with myself, deeper than ever before. This summer tested my strength and I am better for it.
That said, I worked extra hard to make up for the time during the school year and I whipped together some amazing new offerings at AND, SWIPE RIGHT including a membership. This membership includes dating coaching, integrated healing, dating profiles, and dating wellness. Head over to the andswiperight website for more information and if you haven’t checked out our website in a while your eyes might enjoy the view, andswiperight.com Focusing on wholism, I wanted to create a destination that would answer all of your dating needs and AND, SWIPE RIGHT is that. We support single men and women on their relational healing journey and ultimately help them improve all of their relationships.
Speaking of relationships, let’s talk about how we are all going to stay warm this winter. Layers, yes sure, blankets ok fine, but I’d prefer a hot man...but seriously, now that we have kissed summer goodbye and are enjoying cool, crisp fall mornings, it’s time to make plans for the winter.
Dating Hotline Question #1: What is cuffing season?
First of all, what is cuffing, and what do I mean when I say cuffing season? This is a modern dating term to describe a particular time of the year with higher chances of partnering up with someone. In other words, the cultural focus on dating shifts from being single to partnership, and the only goal is to find someone to spend the winter months with. Dating is seasonal - being single in the summer is much more appealing than being single in the winter. Plus, it’s nice to have someone to cuddle up to in the winter and especially nice to have someone to bring to your company’s holiday party.
The name comes from the idea of cuffing up - think of a set of handcuffs, your wrist goes in one side, and your partner’s goes in the other. You two cuff up. Cuffing season implies the shift from focusing on staying single and having fun, to finding someone to spend the next couple months with. More specifically, this season is a time to partner up with someone just long enough to get through the holidays but the holiday of all holidays (ahem, valentine’s day) is the expiration date on your hot and heavy romance. This is important, because people don’t go through valentine’s day with someone who isn’t worth it/who you don’t see a future with.
When it comes to Cuffing Seasons, think: short-term situationships and budding partnerships. Because this is a short season, some people partner up just to not be alone and some people partner up because they are really looking for a partner. The difference between these two is long-term relationship potential and depending on how you read the situation you could be facing sexy valentine’s day plans or an unexpected breakup days before...what a gamble.
If your relationship lasts longer than Valentine’s Day then you have a special relationship and I hope you see that and that you cherish that! Enjoy the fact that you found someone who wants to continue to get to know you and the more they find out the more they like you. Is there a better feeling than the early relationship days?
Dating Hotline Question #2: When is it?
Cuffing season is a season, meaning it has a start and end date. Every year this remains the same. Cuffing season begins the day after Halloween and culminates before valentine’s day. Specifically, Nov 1 - Feb 13, if you make it through valentine’s day with your partner then you know this is someone important. This 3 month season is a time when dating dies down from the countless first dates and moves to dates with the same person. Dinner and drinks still happen but there’s also the occasional Netflix and chill lazy Sundays that are so much fun. Think about the person who you would want to be trapped with durring a snowstorm, now ask yourself, how far are you away from achieving that dream? This is the essence of cuffing season. You’re in a cabin in the mountains, snowed in, fireplace crackling, dinner cooking on the stove, you two are cuddling close to stay warm...mmm that sounds so romantic.
The interesting thing about this particular season is that cuffing season overlaps with the holidays and brings up the question of Christmas presents. Now, this is a much larger question that we’re going to get into today but here’s a basic rule to work with. If you don’t feel comfortable introducing your cuffing partner as your boyfriend/girlfriend then avoid presents. If that feels weird, you could do something small but keep it under $30. If you two are super into each other and gifts feel appropriate then gift away. If this is the case, chances are you two are going to have Valentine’s Day plans. For the rest of us, enjoy each other's company at each other’s company holiday party, and make the holiday season special because you are enjoying it with someone.
AND, SWIPE RIGHT Dating Specialist Tip:
Finally, who would I be if I didn’t tell you what I’m also sharing with my clients? That said, here are three tips from the Dating Specialists at AND, SWIPE RIGHT:
Number 1: Being single is better than cuffing up with the wrong person. Nothing is worse than being with someone who doesn’t appreciate you. If you’re spending time with someone who criticizes you and puts you down, you’re better off spending time alone. You wouldn’t talk to yourself that way so don’t allow others to and that goes for who you give your time to as well. Settling is the worst thing you could do to yourself. It’s always the people who you lower your standards for that walk all over you and leave you to clean up the mess. Don’t allow those people in your life. Keep your standards high and if you don’t find someone to cuff up this season THAT IS OK. You are not a failure if you don’t participate in cuffing season. We have plenty of clients who take the season off and enjoy it alone. They appreciate the undivided attention they can give to their friends and family during this time.
Number 2: Don’t cuff up out of fear of loneliness. That will walk you right into a relationship with someone you are settling with. If you are afraid to be alone, book a consultation at AND, SWIPE RIGHT. Many of my clients are navigating how to be alone and be happy and I support them along their journey. Go to ANDSWIPERIGHT.COM to book your complimentary consultation. I use a variety of modalities with my client and I to help them work through fears, limitations, and painful memories and move into spaciousness, trust, and happiness. Their transformations are incredible.
Number 3: Here’s how you can be successful this cuffing season. Don’t put pressure on the people you date to cuff up. Whenever pressure is applied in dating it changes things and they never end well. Trust your intuition during this time. If you’re looking at your rotation unsure of who to spend the winter with, trust your intuition to guide you to the right person. I told you, who you cuff up with matters. Choose wisely, my friends. And lastly, Just because it’s cuffing season doesn’t mean your dates should be less fun and spicy. There are plenty of ways to keep things hot between you two. If Valentine’s Day dinner is your goal then turn your heat off when you go to sleep at night and keep each other warm….
Curves & Kisses
This week’s Curve not taking the opportunity to tell someone how much you appreciate them. We live in a world that encourages us to close off our feelings and to stay as detached from each other as possible, at least most of us feel it’s safest. But it’s not. Your walls that are keeping people out, the same ones that you think are protecting you are actually preventing you from connecting with others. The walls were put up because you need to protect yourself because someone wasn’t there to protect you from getting hurt. But that danger is gone now and it’s time to recalibrate you. Feelings are good, you can learn how to feel them and work with them without losing yourself in them. Empower yourself to feel alive.
And our Kiss this week goes to - When you can shoot the shit with a stranger. I was meme messaging with this guy I matched with and after he postmated me 40 chicken nuggets from McDonald’s (what kind of psychopath gets McDonald’s without the french fries?!) we started meme messaging and I gotta tell you, it was so fun. Because of this exact moment, my interest in him grew substantially. It’s as if we instantly understood each other's humor. Pro Tio: Switch up how you communicate, send a voice note, send a meme, send a song, send an article...there are many ways to show you are thinking about the other person if words aren’t coming easily at the moment. Spice it up and have fun!
Ok, that’s our show for this week - thank you for tuning in to Dating Hotline - presented by AND, SWIPE RIGHT - an online dating & relationship consultancy. This is your host Chloé Miller. Thank you to our music composer Andrew Langdon for our show music and to Nikolas Thorpe for composing our transition music. If there's something you want to talk about in the future episodes, there's a link in the show notes where you can submit your stories. Otherwise, you guys, DM me your dating questions, email me your thoughts, and please, please, please tell all of your friends to listen. Dating Hotline releases new episodes whenever I don’t have to write a grad school paper. Please subscribe and leave us a review on Apple Podcast - we want 5 stars - and follow us on Spotify.
OUTRO