What We Learned From Netflix’s Dating Around First Dates
Netflix’s Dating Around First Date Review
Valentine's Day - Netflix dropped another Original and I can't thank them enough for sharing this PSA with every subscribing (and password sharing) tv, computer, and phone. This is an absolute SERVICE to the people and I.AM.HERE.FOR.THIS.
Enter stage left, the Netflix Original - Dating Around. This docu-mini-series (6 episodes) allows you to third-wheel six New Yorkers' blind first dates. Some first dates look like they are going well until certain comments are made, some go well and end with a twist, some dates give you those warm and fuzzy feelings, and others are bad from the beginning. The first of its kind, this dating show accurately showcases modern dating in a major American city. If we haven't painted a clear enough picture yet - IT GETS JUICY! Watching one episode quickly turns into binging the entire show.
We watched Netflix’s Dating Around,
here's what we learned:
One of the biggest aspects of dating is improvisation. You can visualize the date, practice responses, and prepare yourself as much as you want but you can almost guarantee something will come up off-script and then what? Dating Around provides a window into what usually happens behind closed doors and since no two dates are ever the same, it can be hard to reflect on your impact appropriately, until now. These daters are all of us, this is a random sample of the 2019 dating market. If that doesn't scare you - then you, my friend, are one of the suavest people out there - smooth sailor, you do you.
For the rest of us, here's what we can learn from these daters who so generously shared their awkward social moments with the world. And because of these flirting failures, we can all benefit. But before we dive in let's thank the producers of Dating Around and Netflix for recognizing the interest around modern dating culture and then sharing it so honestly.
The Bachelor vs Dating Around
Point Blank - One is real and one is fake. You tell me which one you want to observe and emulate. Yes, both are reality-based dating game shows - with the goal of choosing one person out of the bunch of daters. One show is substantially more obvious with its scripted format (you guys it's on its 23 seasons!) and the other is a new style of reality tv. The Bachelor was among one of the first tv shows in the reality tv show space (thank you Survivor) and they helped to bring dating topics into mainstream conversation. Dating became more relaxed as we all tuned in weekly to see who would get a rose this week.
But a part of us, deep down, always knew this show was scripted and for years the question of "is it real love" has been long debated. The game-show aspect of finding love creates a layer of competition that prevents daters from showing up authentically, instead - strategic allies are made the first few hours and those naive contestants generally don't last too long.
Dating Around removes the competition from the date and allows both participants to show up authenticity allowing chemistry to build…or not. Let's get real - we learn through observation and tv content is a large part of that. Even though you don't know what to expect, there are a few things you can do to prepare yourself to present yourself correctly.
Things NOT to say on a first date -
“Hope you’re not a serial killer”
“Well it wasn’t the worst date I’ve ever been on”
“Sorry, what’s your name again?” <---Ok, fine if you have to, ONCE is ok. Twice or even three times? Please - just spare yourself the embarrassment of not remembering. It's just rude at this point
"Free-balling" If you want to be suggestive, there are other ways to deliver a seductive message effectively.
"I shredded myself"
How to show up for a first date -
Be open-minded
Look for shared interest but if you discover a difference, ask the other person to elaborate on that topic. Why are they interested, where did it originate from, how did they get involved. A great opportunity to learn about your date and also show genuine interest.
Have a couple of personal stories ready to share about yourself in case the conversation slows down.
At AND, SWIPE RIGHT we're big believers in mantras. This is one straight from our Founder, Chloé. We recommend doing this right before leaving for the date. As you spritz your perfume, look in the mirror, look at yourself and repeat this sentiment 3 times.
I am open to meeting someone special who will __________ me and _________.
Insert your verbs for both blanks. For example: inspire/challenge/love/cherish/adore and for some the sentence might read " I open myself up to meeting someone special who will inspire me to grow and keep learning" and for others, it might sound more like “I open myself up to meeting someone special who will cherish me and want to get to know me.”
What do to at the end of a first date -
Thank each other for the evening - manners go far with everyone
Discuss the possibility of a second date - tentatively plan something
Kiss - check for chemistry
Ways to end the first date if a kiss isn't an option -
A hug if it was a pleasant evening
Asking for each other’s Instagram or Twitter handle (keeping in touch with social media)
Walking her to her ride home
There you go, don’t forget to report back. We love hearing from you.
- the AND, SWIPE RIGHT team
What do you think? Did we miss something? We want to hear from you, email us with your thoughts, your feedback, and what topics you want to know more about. Reach us at info@andswiperight.com