Ep 02: Dating Profiles

Dating Hotline, a podcast presented by AND, SWIPE RIGHT

Dating Hotline

Ep. 02
Dating Profiles

SHOW NOTES

- DATING HOTLINE -
Ep 02: Dating Profiles

Host: Chloé Miller
Production: AND, SWIPE RIGHT
Show Music: Andrew Langdon
Transition Music: Nikolas Thorpe

Your dating profile is your personal branding campaign. You need to sell yourself appropriately. Think of your profile like a digital storefront, fill it with pictures and response that will attract a right swipe.

-Chloé Miller
Founder, & CEO of AND, SWIPE RIGHT

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

In the second episode of Dating Hotline presented by AND, SWIPE RIGHT - Chloé shares her thoughts on how to make a Dating Profile as well as some personal stories. Plus, she answers two popular dating questions: 1. How should I approach my Dating Profile? 2. What do I put in my Dating Profile?

- LISTEN HERE -

TRANSCRIPT

 

It’s a new year and everyone is on a dating app looking for love - GET YOURSELF OUT THERE! But do yourself a favor - if you haven’t updated your profile in the past 3 months - it’s time to make some changes. Book an appointment with me on the AND, SWIPE RIGHT website and we’ll get you ready to date in this new year!

( 0:20 ) In the meantime listen up - In this episode, I  dive into dating profiles and I share details on how I build them for my clients. Ya ready? Let’s go -  

Dating Hotline Podcast music 40 seconds   

( 1:05 ) Welcome back! This is the second episode of Dating Hotline, presented by AND, SWIPE RIGHT the dating consultancy setting the standard in online dating. This is your host, Chloé Miller. 

Last week I forgot to tell you about my amazing music. Shout out to my friends over at SoundLounge in NYC. Executive Producer -  Becca Falborn hooked me up with the talented composer - Nikolas Thorpe and he whipped up some musical transitions for Dating Hotline. Check out Nikolas’ work on instagram @hippiextribe and @soundloungeny. 

As the Founder and CEO of an online dating consultancy, I’m constantly asked what should I put in my profile? It’s a fair question, I get it, it comes with the territory but that’s why I want to share how I approach dating profiles and what my recommendations are for that right swipe. Filling out a dating profile is easy but making a good dating profile requires more thought than you think.  

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TRANSITION music 32 seconds

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( 2:31 ) Dating Hotline Question Number One: How should I approach my dating profile? 

Your dating profile is your sales tool to land a date. ( with a man/ woman.) If you’ve never done sales before this your crash course and it a people job. You need to create something - in this case, it’s a dating profile - that will attract a right swipe. I want you to look at your dating profiles as is a window of a digital storefront. You have 6 different pictures and roughly 3 sentences to place around in your digital window to bring someone into your store. You should be thinking about how you can attract someone into your store - how are you going to stand out? 

This is why number 1 - you do not pull pictures from Social Media. 

Social media pictures have a completely different intention behind them. When you’re taking a picture for social media most times it’s a passive experience. It’s just documenting the experience, recognizing that in this moment these people are important, this is a moment that you felt a certain way and you wanted to share this with the world. So in other words, social media is really just a storytelling tool. Instagram, specifically because of the progression and chronological uploaded posts, creates our social media story that runs parallel to our real life. 

( 04:05 )Your dating profile is not the same. It’s not even remotely the same process. Your dating profile is 6 pictures that do not change. 3 sentences that don’t change. You do not have this unending scrolling option to find better / more attractive pictures of you. You do not have the option to scroll through and find the funnier comment that you connect with because this one fell flat. Your dating profile is your HIGHLIGHT REEL. Ok? You better be using it with the best pictures you have and the best responses. Think about it like this - it’s like writing your mission statement on your resume but for your dating life. Your resume gets you a job that pays you cash. Your dating life gets you a date who becomes your partner!  Your dating profile GETS YOU A DATE! If you’re on a dating app, to some extent, that’s what we’re all looking for. 

I’m challenging you to put more effort into your dating profile and then look at the results that it will give you back. It’s not a lot that I’m asking for - 3 sentences. All you need to do is think about the prompts for a while, leave and come back to them a couple of hours later. It’s incredibly important to be consciously aware of where your dating profile pictures are coming from. Also, knowing your intention behind your dating profile will help you understand why pulling pictures from social media will not get you toward your goal.

Dating Profile Pictures are taken for a completely different intention. These are specifically styled to show off your personality and or taken to show off who you are. These should be custom -they should not necessarily be pulled from social media. However, if you do pull from social media - be aware of what you’re using. Don’t use couple of shots. My #1 complaint is when people share their dating profile with other people. You have 6 pictures and you can’t make yourself the focal point? No, come on, 6 pictures you guys, you got this. Do not include other people in this. I really don’t like to see guys & girls in the same dating profile. If I’m looking at a guy’s dating profile - get all the pictures of women out of your profile - I don’t care if she’s your sister, your mom, your grandma, or your niece. Tell me, what are you getting out of this? No, I want to know who you are - not other people (at this stage in the relationship) Save those pictures and stories for the date. But take them out of your profile right now. 

( 6:45 ) But wait - let me back up and tell you a bit more about myself.

My background is in talent management. I studied journalism and sports studies in college and got my first professional job at Comcast SportsNet Chicago (which is now known as NBCSports). I worked with high profile sports celebrities at charity events and occasionally reported on cubs games. Fun Fact - I interviewed the late Roy Halliday back in 2010 for a post-game interview the same season he pitched a no-hitter and won the Cy-Young award. But that’s where I got my feet wet. I then left Comcast SportsNet to move into talent management in the advertising industry. 

I worked with filmmakers to represent them commercially, more specifically, I focused my career on Hollywood and I spent time working with Academy Award-winning feature film directors and multiple different feature film production companies. 

I focused on crossover careers - they had a successful feature career and I was responsible for filling in their schedule between feature film productions with commercial shoots. Directors you might recognize - Doug Liman he directed Edge of Tomorrow, the Borne Identity series, Morten Tyldum he directed Passengers and the Academy Award-winning film The Imitation Game, Tate Taylor - he directed Girl on A Train, Anne Fletcher, She’s done every romcom you can think of (Hot Pursuit, The Proposal, 27 Dresses) the late Danny Leiner - he directed Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, Janusz Kaminski Stephen Spielberg’s cameraman…. TOP DRAWER filmmakers.

And I have a lot of fun in Advertising - I have good friends from this industry and just like every other job - the people make the work fun. Right after I left Comcast Sportsnet I started working for a representation firm as a junior rep. A fast 4 years later and the little bird was kicked out of the nest and forced to fly. I grabbed my dad - a pivotal figure in the Chicago Advertising Industry - and we started our own representation firm, Miller + Miller. Shout out to my dad thank you for being my biggest fan and teaching me everything I know about business. 

But guys I was 25 - it was DEFINITELY more than I could handle at the time but it was what I need to do so I was like YUUUUUUP let’s do this. And that’s when I first learned how to start a business. (lesson here - always say yes, you never know what the value of the lesson will be.)

As a co-founder, I was doing the exact same things as I was at the previous company but with about 500x more stress. Overnight, I went from Junior rep to Co-Founder and Managing director of a talent representation agency. I was 25 and I founded a company in an industry that I only had about 4ish years of experience in and guys that was a big leap. Let me tell you - I M A D E  my mistakes and there were some whew - rough days in there. There were a lot of days in there when I would leave my office and go cry in the stairwell. I would call my best friend and just be like “I don’t know if I can do this, I really don’t know how to manage all of this, I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t’ understand why I’m being rejected so much, this is so exhausting and draining, and just simply defeating….” but I just stuck with it and it taught me a lot. Working in talent management and especially with high profile people I learned how to strategically create and position profiles for a successful match. In other words, I was responsible for securing work for my directors right - my directors are not pitching themself for these commercial projects - that’s my job so I would create digital profiles out of films and a short bio and matchmake brands and filmmakers for tv advertising commercial campaigns. Yes, it’s possible to create a happy match if you create the right pitch. 

This is what I want you to do with your dating profile. Position yourself online so that you become appealing to those passing by - this takes strategy, original content, and effort. Your dating profile is your personal branding campaign. You need to sell yourself appropriately. This is your personal branding campaign. Use it strategically -don’t just fill it ours mindlessly craft it to attract your ideal partner. If you need help articulating your message - make an appointment with me on the AND, SWIPE RIGHT website.

( 11:22 ) Ok, so what’s the take away on Question 1:

Putting more thought and effort into your dating profile will produce better results. Talent management is proof of concept for digital profiles - online dating needs to catch up. Recognizing that your dating profile is your sales tool to land a date should change your perspective on what you want to include. If not then keep listening because we discuss that in our next question. 

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TRANSITION music 32 seconds

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Dating Hotline Question Number TWO:

( 12:02 ) Dating Hotline Question Number Two - What do I put in my dating profile?

Ok, first of all, it’s a fact profile pictures are viewed first and then the bio is read. Your profile pictures have to catch their attention. If they are not interested in your profile pictures, they are not going to read your bio - it’ doesn’t matter - they are going to scroll right past it and swipe left. Here are my tips on what to include in your profile pictures and how to get people to stop swiping and scroll through your profile. 

Number one - Start with a clear picture of yourself looking at the camera WITHOUT sunglasses. Take off your hat and your sunglasses and present yourself. We want to meet you so don’t hide behind sunglasses or a hat or even a shadow. Step into the light and smile for us :)  This intro picture is best when it’s NOT a selfie - ya know something about that self arm just takes a picture down so quickly (and honestly the selfie angle makes it look cheap)….We like pictures that are mid shots so think waist up and framed well so that you are the focal point of this picture. 

Number two - Showcase what your life is like - include pictures of you do normally. I want to see a glimpse into your life, show me what you’re all about so that I can difinitely say - you look like fun, I want to talk to you. The exception to this rule is vacations - everyone loves a quality on holiday shot, myself included but those are best used with context. Unless it’s as obvious as the Eiffel Tower, geo-tagging the picture helps to offer more information around the picture and also another opportunity for me to like your profile. 

Number three - Use the captions to add more context to your pictures. Hinge just recently updated their app to picture prompts and personally I hate it. I think their prompts are cheesy and inauthentic. I see why they did it though - this is them providing conversation starters appropriate to your profile…but frankly I haven’t seen them used well yet. My advice - skip these prompts but use the caption of the picture to create content. For example - in my dating profile I have a picture of me on a yacht in Thailand (but the location isn’t easily distinguishable) so I made my picture caption: Notrespondingtoemails@gmail.com and geo-tagged it in Thailand. Men who have traveled to Asia usually swipe right to this one.

And here are my dating profile bio writing rules - keep these in mind. When it comes to dating profile bios here are 3 simple steps to keep you on the path towards that right swipe. 

Number one - when you’re writing your bio write like you’re writing to someone. Have a person in mind, don’t just answer questions as if you’re answering something and blasting something out. Write it as if you’re writing to your perfect partner, don’t respond with a formal answer to a dating question - relax, be casual about it. 

This brings me to my next point, tip number two - clever responses get engagement - but don’t be PUNNY (those are just annoying). The difference between clever and punny (guys, i’m saying PUNNY P-U-N PUNNY with a P) is depth. Punny responses are shallow, low hanging fruit jokes that really don’t say anything about the person. When you read them the only response is a chuckle and then the conversation usually dies, it’s slapstick humor…. Clever responses, on the other hand, show effort, interest in your own life, and a bit of a playful vibe (if you can make fun of yourself and still smile, it’s good quality). You’ve set the tone for some playful banter and that is digital flirting. Out of the three dating questions I’ve answered in on dating profile my clever response “a social cause I care about…stimulating the economy through international tourism”. First of all, I’m telling you that I love to travel internationally (i live abroad for part of the year), I am smart and I understand finance --- (heyyo adulting!) and I have depth behind my comedy. It’s a real crowd-pleaser. 

This is called two-stepping when you create your response and then take it a step further into a new direction. I like to travel is a basic ass response but responding with stimulating the economy through international tourism to the “social cause I care about” question is not normally where you would think that information would be shared - it catches your attention. 

Bio Tip #3 - Add in humor! Always always always use humor when you can. Remember this is your digital storefront, you need to attract people into your store. Humor - done well - is the best way to draw in a crowd. Our advice - if you’re writing your own dating bio, run your jokes past your friends first. Test run these because writing funny is not the same as being funny in real life. It’s a skill that takes time to hone your craft. Practice and keep editing - your jokes will come to you. Cut through the dating profile noise with comments that are enjoyed.

And lastly, who would I be if I didn’t advise you on what NOT to include: pictures with an artsy filter, pictures with bad lighting or shadows, poorly cropped photos, pictures that don’t include you, pictures that don’t show your face and pictures that are not a part of your highlight reel. Comments that are negative and exclusionary (having taste and standards is one thing but you can still have tact, typos (guys check these responses - it’s silly but it’s still your first impression) and emotional baggage - keep it light and remember you want them to come into your store so how are you going to entice them in?

Ladies - 

Check out AND, SWIPE RIGHT’s blog post sharing 5 staple first date outfits that every woman already has in her closet. There are some good tips in there and everything is shoppable! And

Guys - 

Check out AND, SWIPE RIGHT’s blog post sharing 10 Dating App Conversation Starters For Him and please don’t use “Hey, what’s up?” ever again, you are better than that!

( 18:33 ) Ok, so what’s the take away on Question 2: Keep the focus on you, be clever, not punny, and check the AND, SWIPE RIGHT website for resources to help you succeed in online dating. We post new content on our HOTT STUFF blog regularly. 

( 19:17 ) Ok, it’s time for this week’s dating success and dating failures - 

Dating Kisses // Highlights

F.B.O. (Facebook Official) -

Guys who still ask to be official. The traditionalist in me like the official starting point, even if both parties know it - signifying it and acknowledging the beginning makes it sweeter.

Dating Curves // Crash

Dishonesty - 

One of my clients told me this story the other day,...She went on a date with a guy who told her that he was a beverage distributor. Two days later, she walks into Starbucks and see’s him behind the counter slinging drinks, or should I say distributing beverages…..THIS IS SO BAD - don’t lie about your shit. Authenticity is always well received and dishonesty is not a good look. If you’re not happy with things in your life make a plan to change and focus on that. Lying has disastrous consequences. 

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TRANSITION

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( 20:33 ) Ok, that’s our show thanks for tuning to DATING HOTLINE presented by AND, SWIPE RIGHT a dating consultancy setting the standard in online dating. This is your host Chloé Miller. If there's something you want to talk about in the future episodes, there's a link in the show notes where you can submit your question or idea. Thank you to our music transition composer Nikolas Thorpe over at Sound Lounge - go follow him on Instagram @hippiextribe that’s @H-I-P-P-I-E-X-T-R-I-B-E and Soundlounge is @SoundLoungeNY. You guys DM me your dating questions, email me your thoughts, and please, please, please tell all of your friends to listen. 

Shout out to the two AMAZING humans who already left us a review - youuu make me so happy! Don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review on Apple Podcast and follow us on Spotify. 

Dating Hotline Podcast music 40 seconds   

( 22:00 ) This podcast is presented by AND, SWIPE RIGHT a personal consultant agency setting the standard in online dating. Visit their website www.andswiperight.com to learn more about their personal styling appointments, private coaching sessions, and the creative and engaging dating profiles they make for single men and women. 

Dating Hotline is hosted by Chloé Miller, Founder, and CEO of AND, SWIPE RIGHT. Follow her on Instagram @chlomill

We love hearing from you so please please please send all Fan Mail to DatingHotline@andswiperight.com that’s  D-A-T-I-N-G  H-O-T-L-I-N-E-@A-N-D-S-W-I-P-E-R-I-G-H-T-.-C-O-

And follow us on social media @Andswiperight, @datinghotlinepodcast (we’ll put these details in our show notes on the AND, SWIPE RIGHT website.) 

Please subscribe to our podcast, leave us a review on iTunes, and tell all your friends. 

This is the Dating Hotline….

 
Dating ProfilesChloé Miller, MA, LPC, MFTCDating ProfilesComment