Ep 26: Fool Me Twice Interview - Jules Hannaford

Dating Hotline, a podcast presented by AND, SWIPE RIGHT

Dating Hotline

Ep. 26
Fool Me Twice Interview - Jules Hannaford

SHOW NOTES

- DATING HOTLINE -
Ep 26: Fool Me Twice Interview - Jules Hannaford

Host: Chloé Miller
Guest: Jules Hannaford & Fool Me Twice Podcast
Production: AND, SWIPE RIGHT INC.
Show Music: Andrew Langdon
Transition Music: Nikolas Thorpe

“You talk about overcoming the shame which is actually what gave you the freedom to share your story. How did you self-forgive? How did you overcome the shame stigma? It started by recognizing how manipulative Truman was through rereading his messages and then it was the affirmation I received from my family and friends…"

-Chloé Miller
Founder, & CEO of AND, SWIPE RIGHT

 

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

In the twenty-sixth episode of Dating Hotline presented by AND, SWIPE RIGHT - Chloé interviews a survivor of an online romance scam. Jules Hannaford, author, and producer of the Webby Nominated and Top 10 True Crime podcast - Fool Me Twice podcast - shares her personal experience with online romance scams that turned violent after meeting her scammer in-person. Jules Hannaford - Single Mother, Author, Podcast host/producer, Online Romance Scam Survivor. Fool Me Twice is streaming on all major platforms, please leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcast. Visit the Fool Me Twice website.

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LINKS

- Fool Me Twice (True-Crime) Podcast -
Online Romance Scams

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TRANSCRIPT

Dating Hotline

Ep 26: Fool Me Twice - Interview with Jules Hannaford

Hi Dating Hotliners - last week I told you about the scam I unknowingly almost walked right into while doing a little bit of research but this week I’m going to share an interview I did with a woman who was a victim of an online romance scam. She’s learned a lot throughout her experience and now, years later, she's sharing her experience and her story so that others won’t fall victim to the same mistakes.  Ya ready?

Show Music

What’s up you guys? How’s it going? Welcome to the 26th episode of Dating Hotline, this is your host, Chloé Miller.  Dating Hotline is presented by AND, SWIPE RIGHT - an online dating & relationship consultancy. Through services like Dating & Relationship Coaching, private personal consulting appointments, Personal Styling services, creating engaging dating profiles, and their newest service, a monthly texting membership AND SWIPE RIGHT provides support throughout all stages of dating. AND, SWIPE RIGHT is setting a high-value standard in online dating by empowering single women and men with dating techniques.

Thank you for listening today and every week - Dating Hotline releases new episodes EVERY WEDNESDAY at 11 am Central Time. So go ahead and hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcast or Follow on Spotify that way you’ll automatically get our new episode every week. And you guys please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. Your reviews help other people find Dating Hotline and then they listen to our show. Thank you for the 5-star rating! After you’ve left your review - send me a screenshot. I want to make sure to thank you appropriately. We post all of this information on the AND, SWIPE RIGHT website - Our show notes host links to the business & products we feature and other gems like our newsletter - check it out andswiperight.com

This is the last week to book a private consultation with the 25% discount, June is evaporating faster than I expected - I’m sure you feel similarly - so stop what you’re doing and go to andswiperight.com and book your appointment today. While you’re there, pick up an AND, SWIPE RIGHT hat - they come in black or white.

We have some exciting news to share - AND, SWIPE RIGHT was featured in Bustle’s article - 15 Questions To Ask Your Date Before You Meet Up In Person - Cosmopolitan, Bustle, Splash Magazine, LifeHacker….what I’m sharing with you guys is on target not just by my standards but by the standards of the country. I want you to succeed and these publications agree this advice is on target. Check out our feature in Bustle - I’ve included the link in our show notes and I've also included a blog post about it so you’ll find it in a couple of places on our website because we are SO PROUD of this. 

Now last week we talked about scams and sugar babies and this week we are continuing that chat and discussing online romance scams. Fortunately, I haven’t fallen victim to one so I can’t really talk with authority on this topic but I did reach out to a friend of mine who has. She also happens to have a top 10 True Crime podcast, was nominated for a Webby Award, and she has a hugely successful book, Fool Me Twice is a book turned podcast about the story of an online romance scam that happened to Jules Hannaford.

I interviewed Jules Hannaford last week - bright and early for me - 6 am and 7 pm for her because she’s in Hong Kong. I haven’t talked to you guys about my love for hong kong yet but I absolutely love that place. It’s the equivalent of London for Europe - it’s the gateway into Asia and it’s just amazing. I also have a CRAZY dating story about a relationship i had with a man who grew up in Hong Kong which is another episode I’ll share with you - it’s 100% NOT what you think it is, and that’s literally half the story….I wonder how I get myself into some of these situations and then I realize, it’s because I’m supposed to share them with you. I definitely didn’t know that years ago when I was experiencing them but now I see the purpose. I’ve been through relationship Bootcamp and it’s now my responsibility to coach you through your relationships so that you don’t have to make the same mistakes as I did. That episode will probably be more narrative than Q&A style because it’s just one of those stories that need to be told….but coming back to Jules….we chatted about her online romance scam, a few highlights from her show - Fool Me Twice - and what her plans are for the future with regards to dating and her new passion - sharing her survivor story. Let’s jump right in.

INTERVIEW QUESTIONS

  1. Jules, thank you for coming on Dating Hotline, it's great to have you. I’m excited to chat with you about your story. When I first heard the trailer of your show I was immediately sucked into the story and then the sound bites from the experts you and Zara interviewed were truly impressive. What led you to create a podcast? It’s so well done, I’m impressed!

  2. Now, let’s talk about what happened to you. You found love or what you thought was love and different from most scammers - including the other stories that are mentioned in the show - you actually met up with your partner - Truman, which in online romance scams is SOOO uncommon and obviously super dangerous. But little did you know at the time, you were holding him to the fire while you were seeking the loving relationship he “sold you on” the entire time you chatted online. Can you tell me about what that was like for you? Your podcast explains each step so clearly, and I can imagine a mix of emotions. What was it like to want to believe this man and be constantly disappointed when your expectations were unmet?

  3. You are so brave to have traveled so far for love and to spend time with a stranger, you podcast explains how your life was in danger many times throughout this trip. What’s it like to listen to it now at this point - so many years later - and especially now that it’s gaining so much publicity and momentum as online dating becomes even more popular?

  4. You talk about overcoming the shame which is actually what gave you the freedom to share your story. How did you self-forgive? How did you overcome the shame stigma?

  5. While I was listening to your show, I learned of some red flags that I should have been more aware of while I was participating in my own online experiment. I was in an online dating sugar baby situation and trying to learn more about that relationship dynamic for my podcast listeners - but we barely got anywhere. But as we were texting, I was picking up some fishy questions. Fortunately, I was listening to your show at the same time and noticed some of the same lines that were used on you and other survivors being used on me. For example, he told me that he’d be ripped off by other “babies” in the past and that he didn't want that to happen to him again - so clearly stating “a vulnerability” that would prey upon the emotions of an unsuspecting person. He told me he couldn't use any of the common payment services because his “accountant blocked them…” and he needed my bank account number and the routing number to wire the money in directly to my account...because of my previous relationship experience my gut told me not a chance, and I left him on read a couple of time. He didn’t like this and eventually, we came to an impasse because I wasn’t budging on this and he couldn't get any further. Your show helped to illuminate just how essay it is to scam people with online dating scams whether they are seeking love or seeking a financial relationship with someone….predators are out there. How can we protect ourselves?

  6. What are the red flags you would advise someone to look out for? // What other red flags should people be aware of when dating online - especially as they need to protect themself from online dating scams?

  7. I especially liked learning about the term “anchoring” - can you explain that and what that looks like in an online dating scam? 

  8. Assuming some of our listeners haven’t listened to your show yet, and without giving anything away, can you walk me through the emotional turmoil and the psychological turmoil of surviving an online dating scam. What has the recovery been like for you?

  9. There’s a therapist that's interviewed in the end, she mentions Post Traumatic Growth - which is turning a traumatic event into a growth point. You’ve obviously turned your online dating scam into something that you can help other people with - sharing our story can spare someone else the same mistake. And it’s obvious with how much success you’ve found that your story is unique and not your typical online dating scam. How else have you exercised Post Traumatic Growth?  Have you had luck shopping your story around with Netflix and other streaming services?

Thank you so much, Jules, it was a pleasure speaking with you and even more so, connecting with you all the way in Hong Kong. You are a courageous woman to have survived what you did and then to share your story. Thank you on behalf of myself and other listeners but thank you on behalf of anyone who has been victimized, showing that you can overcome shame and use it for good, is one of the most beautiful lessons of your story. Thank you, Jules. 

You can find FOOL ME TWICE - the webby nominated TRUE CRIME podcast sharing the story of an online romance scam written and directed by Zara Hannaford and recounted and produced by Jules Hannaford. It’s definitely a show you will not be able to stop listening to until you’re finished the season. We’ve already left a 5-star review and you can add yours too on Apple podcast. Fool Me Twice is streaming on all major platforms and we’ll link to it in our show notes. 

Next week we’ll be back with our Q&A format answering the most pressing dating questions for modern romances. If you have a story you’d like to share, or if you have a crazy dating experience and you want your own Post Traumatic Growth moment - get in touch with us datinghotline@andswiperight.com and we’ll set up a time to chat. We’ve said it before - dating is an improv world - no two moments will ever be the same, but there will be some situations that are repeating in other people’s lives  - sharing our story helps to spare someone else the same heartache we experienced. Let’s learn collectively and collectively raise the bar of what is acceptable dating.

Ok, that’s our show for this week - thank you for tuning in to Dating Hotline - presented by AND, SWIPE RIGHT - an online dating & relationship consultancy. This is your host Chloé Miller. Thank you to our music composer Andrew Langdon for our show music and to Nikolas Thorpe for composing our transition music. If there's something you want to talk about in the future episodes, there's a link in the show notes where you can submit your stories. Otherwise, you guys, DM me your dating questions, email me your thoughts, and please, please, please tell all of your friends to listen. Dating Hotline releases new episodes every Wednesday at 11 am CENTRAL. Please subscribe and leave us a review on Apple Podcast - we want 5 stars - and follow us on Spotify. 

OUTRO

 
Chloé Miller, MA, LPC, MFTCAND, SWIPE RIGHTComment