Ep 30: Hinge's Most Valuable Features

Dating Hotline, a podcast presented by AND, SWIPE RIGHT

Dating Hotline

Ep. 30
Hinge's Most Valuable Features

SHOW NOTES

- DATING HOTLINE -
Ep 30: Hinge's Most Valuable Features

Host: Chloé Miller
Production: AND, SWIPE RIGHT INC.
Show Music: Andrew Langdon
Transition Music: Nikolas Thorpe

“Did you guys follow me on that - think of the person’s dating profile as your assistant briefing you on the person waiting for you in the conference room. They are preparing you with pertinent information and giving you just enough of an edge to walk in, sweet talk a little bit, and then close the deal, aka lock down that first date."

-Chloé Miller
Founder, & CEO of AND, SWIPE RIGHT

 

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

In the thirtieth episode of Dating Hotline presented by AND, SWIPE RIGHT - Chloé shares two lesser-known features on the Hinge dating app and she explains why they are so valuable for you. Plus, she answers two popular dating questions: Dating Hotline Question # 1: What is a lesser-known feature on Hinge that is extremely valuable? Dating Hotline Question #2: What is the second feature on Hinge that is just as valuable and maybe not so obvious?

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TRANSCRIPT

Dating Hotline Podcast
Ep 30: Hinge's Most Valuable Features

EP 30: My favorite features on Hinge 

Hi Dating Hotliners - Summer is in full swing and it feels like dating has picked back up and there’s momentum in the air. Do you guys feel that too? Are you going out and meeting up with people on dates? I hope so, this is peak summer dress weather and do these warm, summer nights get any better? No. Go find someone cute to hold while you watch the sunset together. Ahh, what a pinch me, I’m dreaming moment. But in order to make that reality, we gotta get out there and meet some new people on those dating apps. So today I want to discuss some features on my favorite dating app - Hinge. Ya ready, let’s go!


SHOW MUSIC

 What’s up you guys? How’s it going? Welcome to the 30th episode of Dating Hotline, this is your host, Chloé Miller.  Dating Hotline is presented by AND, SWIPE RIGHT - an online dating & relationship consultancy. Through services like Dating & Relationship Coaching, private consulting appointments, Personal Styling services, custom dating profiles and a texting service AND SWIPE RIGHT provides support to singles throughout all stages of dating. AND, SWIPE RIGHT is setting a high-value standard in online dating by empowering single women and men with dating techniques.
Thank you for listening today and every week - Dating Hotline releases new episodes EVERY WEDNESDAY at 11 am Central Time. So go ahead and hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcast or Follow on Spotify that way you’ll automatically get our new episode every week. And you guys please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. Your reviews help other people find Dating Hotline and then they listen to our show. Thank you for the 5-star rating! After you’ve left your review - send me a screenshot. I want to make sure to thank you appropriately. We post all of this information on the AND, SWIPE RIGHT website - Our show notes host links to the business & products we feature and other gems like our newsletter - check it out andswiperight.com
I talk about it all the time, HINGE is my favorite dating app because it’s creatively presented and positioned to provide you the most insight about this person before starting a conversation which is, in essence, a digital assistant telling you all the important details about the person you’re about to walk into a virtual office room with, right? Did you guys follow me on that - think of the person’s dating profile as your assistant briefing you on the person waiting for you in the conference room. They are preparing you with pertinent information and giving you just enough of an edge to walk in, sweet-talk a little bit, and then close the deal, aka lock down that first date. 
No other dating app provides as much assistance as Hinge but if you’re having luck on a different dating apps stick with the app that’s working for you. As I’ve mentioned before, dating in different cities means there are different approaches to dating online and which apps people are on so make sure you try a bunch to find the best one for you. But if you’re deciding between which apps to download - take my advice, check out Hinge. 
Today I want to discuss two features on the app that are less obvious but serve valuable purposes. 


Dating Hotline Question #1 - What is the first favorite feature on Hinge?

What is a lesser-known feature on Hinge that is still extremely valuable?
The share button & here’s why - be a wingman to your bro who has a very specific type because girls do this too! Some of my girlfriends are very particular about a guy’s height and I’ve come across plenty of 6foot tall men who are good looking guys and after tapping two quick buttons call me cupid, because I’m a matchmaker. Help your best friend out - send them the profile of the person who is absolutely their type. Who should I be sharing these profiles with? Your immediate crew - like the people you send your screenshots too - either to a] holy shit this person is so hot, help me come up with a great opener - two minds are better than one. Or b] this person is totally your type - you should like them so you can get matched. 
Here’s where to find it - When you are on your explore/discover page on Hinge and you’re looking at someone’s profile, the three dots in the upper right-hand corner is what you want to tap. Following that there’s a menu of options - tap share and then click how you want to share it - text, email, airdrop...this will then prompt the person you’re sending this to, to view their profile in the app. Please note that you have to have the app to view this person’s profile so if you’re sending this profile to your mom - just make sure she has the app so she can view it. I’m still waiting for Hinge to have a share my profile button so I can drop that at a bar instead of my number...sometimes you don’t have time for small talk and normally I just leave my Instagram on a napkin as I walk away but if hinge created a “share my profile” button with a stranger that could make for a fun airdrop game. Have you guys ever played that game? A couple of friends of mine told me about this years ago they would do this on the subway and see what came up but basically, you switch your airdrop preferences from contacts only to everyone and then you start scanning a public area for airdrops and send people pictures of whatever you want...they sent crazy stuff but eventually, things escalated and well you can guess this upgraded to sending dick-pics and watching for people’s reactions...kinda funny, kinda dumb, what can I say this was low-level entertainment...but bringing this back to hinge - if they let you airdrop your profile to someone like we can airdrop a picture….just imagine how you could be at the bar with this hot guy and sending him your dating profile just so you two can start talking - have we become too app dependent?


Dating Hotline Question # 2 - What is the second favorite feature on Hinge?


The pause button - Ok so let’s discuss when you should be using the pause button and when you should be deleting your profile. I’m so happy hinge introduced the pause button because there’s a lot of gray area in the relationships as it ‘are we dating, well yes but he hasn’t officially called me his girlfriend so I can’t say that in front of him”. Yeah, that happens more often than you think so enter the perfect time to pause your profile. 
You should be pausing your profile when you’re fresh off a breakup and you’re starting your 14-day detox from dating. Give yourself time to process the end of your relationship before you jump back into the dating scene. This prevents you from pushing off your emotional pain - yes processing and growing is SO IMPORTANT don’t skip it - plus this detox allows you time to find your feet before you dive into a new relationship with a new person. Bringing baggage from your previous relationship into your new relationship is clearly not a good thing and denying yourself the time to sort through that baggage prevents you from growing. Remember each relationship you have will grow you as a person, don’t burn through people without consciously recognizing the lessons they taught you along the way.  
You should be pausing your profile when you’re starting to see one person more regularly but maybe you haven’t had the “we exclusive” talk. Remember at the beginning of this episode when I said: “we’re dating but he hasn’t officially called me his girlfriend so yes he’s my boyfriend but don’t tell him I said that.”? Yeah, that conversation is A LOT more common than you think - the fragile time of dating but not exclusive yet is a delicate dance. You need to finesse your way through the conversations to prevent emotional vulnerabilities especially if you don’t know the other person’s feelings. This can last for a couple of weeks or sometimes a couple of months. It depends on the couple and their communication. But during this stage is when you would be pausing your profile. I would never delete my profile for some guy who hasn’t even called me his girlfriend. But I would pause my profile because I believe in the potential we have and I want this relationship to take shape. 


You should be pausing your profile when you are burnt out with online dating. This is easy you guys, don’t jump to throw out the baby with the bathwater, take a step back and give yourself some time and space to focus on yourself and make yourself happy again. Dating is a vacuum of the energy you bring to these experiences, meaning - what you bring to this will be what you meet. If you’re meeting bitter, unhappy, and unpleasant people then you need to examine how you're showing up so that you can bring different, happier, and excited, and optimistic energy to these experiences and watch you may even find someone who’s great. Dating burnout is real, we’ve all experienced it and it’s important to take stock of those feelings and take some time off. Just like a digital detox is oh so important - I sometimes do it over the weekends and I weirdly LOVE those weekends. It brings me back to my childhood when I didn’t have things to worry about or things to take care of - it’s like a weekend of no responsibilities, back to the basics. Dating detoxes are just as important. Follow your intuition and if you’re coming up to burnout, do yourself the favor and take the necessary break. Your matches will be waiting for you when you return. Besides, it’s a total high-value woman moment to say I’m out of here I need to self-care and I’ll be back as a better version of myself. Don’t show up less than the best version of you and burnout brings out “good enough” and good enough is not high-value.


You should be deleting your profile when you are partnered up. Don’t be trolling around and playing with fire - your partner won’t like it nor will the people you will be matching and chatting with since you won't be meeting up with them in person. And if you are double-timing your girlfriend or your boyfriend - just stop. Please. Don’t do it, spare that person the pain you’re about to cause, don’t go forward with an action that you will regret and just stop the unnecessary cycle of pain. Cheating creates a whole slew of problems for both individuals it’s selfish and cruel. Speak to your unhappiness before you make an irreversible decision. Don’t disrespect and betray the trust and relationship you’ve built with this person, it’s not worth blowing everything up. 


You should be deleting your profile when you are officially off the market. As in the two of you have had the “deleted it” conversation and you are ready to give this relationship the full attention it deserves without distractions. Explicitly expressed monogamy is what we want - as Patti Stanger used to say in million-dollar matchmaker - Monogamy Before Sex - Monogamy before you delete your profile. You make your own decisions on sex - we have our opinions but make an appointment with me if you want my insight on that. That - like everything in a relationship - is a chess game - make the right move and you position yourself to win, make the wrong move and its checkmate bud.


Ok so here’s where to find the Pause Button - Open the Hinge dating app, tap the person icon in the bottom right corner so you’re viewing the settings page. Now, tap Account with the little gear icon. On the top of the page, there’s a Pause button, it should be turned off meaning your profile is active and circulating through the app’s system. If you want to pause your profile, tap the button to turn it on and your profile will be muted or quite literally paused and not be discoverable for other people to match with you. It’s simple and a great step to take before deleting your profile with all of your dating data.


Speaking of dating data here’s a bonus feature - if you are NOT using the pause button but instead deleting your profile because you found your partner with that GREAT conversation starter and you want to hold onto that because it’s now become an inside joke between you two, here’s a fun tip of how you can keep this special moment. On Hinge, you can request your data so that you get a copy of your texting threads. In other words, you can get a copy of your conversation without having to take multiple screenshots.  But keep in mind your data request will only get you your data which means you will only get your side of the conversation. Make sure your partner requests theirs too so that you get both sides of the conversation. 


Curves & Kisses
We are swerving around these and blowing kisses as we go

Curve -Don’t over-report you guys - some apps like Bumble are SUPER strict with this and if you get reported they kick you off the app and will ban you entirely. You would think that it would be a let’s get both sides of the story situation but most of the time it’s not. If someone reports you then that means you’re dunzo. I know, sometimes the consequence doesn’t match the crime and this is one of those cases. But on the other hand, if you matched with someone and they immediately got creepy this feature was designed for that moment. 


And that’s why most times dating apps are not instead in allowing the other person to share their side of the story if they’ve been reported. So, if you are in a bad mood and reporting people left and right, you could be hitting report on people that don’t deserve that type of punishment. Don’t be cruel when it comes to online dating - remember we’re all out here trying to meet someone we want to spend time with, don’t ruin the party for someone because you’re emotionally reacting. If you're out here reporting people left and right because you didn’t like a response they said or you have a low barometer of what is reportable behavior just remember Karma never forgets an address. You’re sending out negative energy in your dating life - what do you think is going to come back your way? 


The report button is the last resort. Unmatch with this person before you report them. Don’t jump to using this button. Just unmatch and go your separate ways. Cut that connection off but be discerning when it’s time to hit report.

  
Kiss - Durex’s advertisement that is pro mask and pro condom. Wear one when you’re going out and wear one when you’re going in...peep our Instagram stories for the ad - it will make you smile because it’s been far too long since we were single and carefree when it comes to dating. Yes, we’re still single, but a lot less carefree in 2020. Guys protect yourself - get a mask and use condoms. According to the Mayo Clinic website, there’s no evidence that sex can transfer the COVD-19 virus but with all this uncertainty, do you really want to take that chance? NOOOO, so now more than ever use protection and stay safe you guys, keep yourself bacteria and virus free.
Ok, that’s our show for this week - thank you for tuning in to Dating Hotline - presented by AND, SWIPE RIGHT - an online dating & relationship consultancy. This is your host Chloé Miller. Thank you to our music composer Andrew Langdon for our show music and to Nikolas Thorpe for composing our transition music. If there's something you want to talk about in the future episodes, there's a link in the show notes where you can submit your stories. Otherwise, you guys, DM me your dating questions, email me your thoughts, and please, please, please tell all of your friends to listen. Dating Hotline releases new episodes every Wednesday at 11 am CENTRAL. Please subscribe and leave us a review on Apple Podcast - we want 5 stars - and follow us on Spotify. 


OUTRO

 
Chloé Miller, MA, LPC, MFTCAND, SWIPE RIGHTComment